we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
