dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize