Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
