i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
love makes seman taste better
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
