I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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