I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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