I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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