Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize