He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
