I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
