Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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