I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
