i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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