I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can I color on your dick again?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
