He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
