The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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