Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
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Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.