May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.