Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges