I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate