The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
