i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
