Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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