Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
Randomize
