How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Floor bacon is actually really good
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
