I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
