That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
