I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
