I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
