the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i out mim tonsoeep
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