So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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