My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
