What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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