i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
