I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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