while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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