There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
