Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
