She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
