Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
