Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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