i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
