So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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