Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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