Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
