Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
