Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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