it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
