People with herpes should wear stickers.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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