remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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