dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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