i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
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I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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