i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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