apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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