I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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