I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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