today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
