she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Alive.
So much puke
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
