she's into porn, im staying here tonight
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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