let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
