Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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