if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
