i think my mom watched the whole time
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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