I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
