direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
did i just pee glitter
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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