last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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