you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Text me some of your sweat
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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