Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I currently don't understand fingers.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
